Selected work-order problems and solutions

Below are the stated problems and solutions for several work orders filed on our ambulances and facility over the years.

Problem: [Ambulance] 56-B2 left inside rear tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced 56-B2 left inside rear tire.

P: Ambulance 3: Something loose in patient compartment.
S: A 3: Something tightened in patient compt.

P: Mouse in driver’s-side outside cabinet ([ambulance] 56-B2).
S: Cat installed.

P: [Ambulance] 56-B2's engine is missing.
S: 56B2 - engine found under hood after brief search.

P: Ambulance 2 (56B1): Lots of dead bugs on windshield.
S: Amb2: Ordered live bugs for windshield.

P: 56-B1: Evidence of brake fluid leak near front right wheel.
S: 56-B1: Evidence removed.

P: Building’s front door lock causes door to stick closed.
S: That's what it’s for.

P: Amb. 2 siren volume unbelievably loud.
S: Ambulance 2 siren volume set to more believable level.

P: Ambulance 2 handles funny.
S: Ambulance 2 warned to straighten up, drive right, and be serious.

P: Abnormal seepage near cylinder 3 glow plug (Ambulance 3)
S: Amb3 - seepage is normal. Cylinders 1,2,4,5,6,7 and 8 lack proper seepage.

P: Stairs to landing by rear building door rusted – I think they may fall.
S: I think you're right.

P: 56-B2 - Cat found in left outside compartment (behind driver’s door).
S: Dog installed.

P: Building lights hum.
S: Taught building lights the lyrics.

P: Ambulance 3: Noise coming from behind suction unit when on - sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: A3 - Took hammer away from midget.

Neighborhoods change

From http://ethanhein.tumblr.com/post/117427129/okuami-flickr-photo-download-geek-vandalism

Crib sheet

For those who need to brush up an a few basics:
source: http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/cribsheet9.gif

Flea treatment

It appears I've been going about flea treatment incorrectly.
From http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/catproblem.jpg

What's wrong with this picture?

Wolfram's Rule 34 (XKCD)

If I understood it myself, I'd explain it, but here are a few spam-free links that discuss it:


http://stackoverflow.com/questions/302369/wolframs-rule-34-in-xkcd

http://fakerake.com/2008/282/wolframs-rule-34-for-xkcd-readers/

http://atlas.wolfram.com/01/01/34/01_01_1_34.html

The 1st includes the 2nd and 3rd, as well as some others.

The original comic: http://www.xkcd.com/505/

What, no exorcism?

Headline: Ministers Plan Repossession Help

The polls are very tight

"Cthulu has tapped into a well of public desire for gibbering uncertainty..."

Ice

from: http://ethanhein.tumblr.com/post/53495287/via-randominternet

Alternate title: New data suggests that not all polar bears can read English

Stupid forcefield

from http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/09/25/funny-pictures-stupid-forcefield/

Jessica Fletcher does penace for Mrs Lovett

I've only seen Angela Lansbury in three roles: Jessica Fletcher, the amateur sleuth on TV's Murder, She Wrote; the devious mother in the film The Manchurian Candidate; and the possibly sociopathic Mrs. Lovett in the musical Sweeney Todd. Of course, Jessica Fletcher was the last of these roles that Ms Lansbury created. Was it in penance for the crimes of the other two?

No, it's not okay

Often, when a computer is unable to comply with a request, it brings up an error window to tell you as much. All fine, though I'd of course prefer that the computer do as I ask, but that can't always happen. What I don't care for is that I have to click 'ok' to clear the window. What if it's not okay? Don't I get a choice here; can't I register my dismay?

Cat text

Some days you get the mail...

Click the pic for the original

Mars Bars ...

... aren't made on Mars.

It's false advertising.

The zero tolerance approach to punctuation

From the New York Times online, in an article discussing the varying fortunes of the semicolon:

Correction: February 19, 2008
An article in some editions on Monday about a New York City Transit employee’s deft use of the semicolon in a public service placard was less deft in its punctuation of the title of a book by Lynne Truss, who called the placard a “lovely example” of proper punctuation. The title of the book is “Eats, Shoots & Leaves” — not “Eats Shoots & Leaves.” (The subtitle of Ms. Truss’s book is “The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.”)

Am I the only one who sees the irony here?

Day 109 - Where is your inspiration?

Day 109 - Where is your inspiration?
Originally uploaded by like_shipwrecks

Ever feel like this? I know I do.

Communicate telepathically with bacon

From the "Push button, receive bacon" genre.

It looks like a blackberry

Following fertilization, the egg cell undergoes several rounds of cell division, eventually forming a solid ball of cells that looks something like a blackberry, and this is the comparison that I make in class when discussing embryology for the DAT and MCAT. Yesterday, when I made this comment, one of the students look very confused, so I continued, "or a raspberry".

"Oh," she said. "That makes more sense. I was thinking the PDA."

Please alter course 20 degrees starboard

Partial transcript of an early 20th Century wireless (radio transmissions using Morse code) conversation between a battleship and an unknown vessel. The transmissions of the two vessels are similar, so I have made the battleship's transmissions boldface, for clarity:

Battleship: ...you are on a collision course. Alter your heading 20 degrees starboard.
Unknown Vessel: You are on a collision course. Alter your heading 20 degrees to starboard.
B: Repeat, you are on a collision course. Alter your course 20 degrees starboard.
UV: Please alter your course 25 degrees to starboard.
B: This is your last warning. Alter your course 20 degrees starboard. I am a battleship.
UV: This is your last warning. Please alter your course 30 degrees to starboard. I am a lighthouse.