Truth and Beauty 2-6

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"The swabs," said Jack to Stephen, "are these," touching his epaulettes, "and when we ship them - put them on - for the first time we have to wet them with a drink. It is an old, and old tradition."

"It is also a tradition to burn those midshipman's marks," said Jevons, pointing to the white facings on Jack's uniform, "or hasn't it been an hour yet?"

"Oh!" cried Jack, "I forgot! I have the orders right here!" He grabbed the express envelope from the table, raped the wax seal on its back, and tore out the contents. Skipping the time-honored, formulaic opening he came right to the heart of the matter, reading it out to his companions, "given this, the 22 day of October, at 0900 hours to Jack O'Brian, hereby appointed Commander of His Majesty's Navy. Ha," he slapped the table, "Oh nine-hundred this morning, the hour has passed. Help me with these facings, will you?" He pulled off his coat, spreading it on the table and producing a pocket knife. Jevons did the same, and the two sailors attacked the stitching that bound the shameful facings to Jack's lapels.

Stephen, who lacked a knife and in any event only dimly understood what the sailors were doing, privately slid a piece of bread into his pocket. Dinner was all very well, assuming that Jack did eventually get to it (and Stephen could hardly prompt him); but what then? He ran along several possibilities, none very realistic, sneaking more bread into his pockets from time to time until the repeated cry of "doctor" brought him back to the present. "Doctor?" he said, looking about and standing up, "I am a doctor. Who needs a doctor?"

"Well it is the damnedest thing," said Jack, looking up at Stephen, "a Marine just delivered this note - my ship needs a doctor, it seems the old one has taken ill and invalided, has to take physic. How I'll replace him I don't know, the Sick and Hurt representative for this sector is a mere villain. But sit down, sir, and let us call for menus. Bartender, there, three menus, if you please, and perhaps some bread. I did not realize that you are a doctor, sir," he said, turning back to Stephen, "I dare say you're quite busy, sawing off limbs and the like?"

"Always this sawing off of limbs," said Stephen, resuming his seat, "I was at my boarding house just the other day and one of the other residents asked me how many arms I had sawn off, as if that were the sort of thing one keeps track of. If you were to ask about how many times I had seen situs inversus, or even situs inversus with levocardia-" but the arrival of the waitress with menus and the daily specials cut him off.

"With my promotion comes a pay raise," Jack told Stephen privately, "enough to cover my immediate debts and then some, so order anything you like. The sirloin is particularly good here."

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